


Petrichor

by Yoru_The_Rogue



Series: G Gundam: Aftershock [2]
Category: G Gundam
Genre: Complicated Relationships, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Extended Scene, F/M, Fix-It of Sorts, Kissing, Not Beta Read, Operating Circuits shipping, Part of a Fic Series, Symbolic Title, screw canon i ship what i want, yes I tagged both Kyoji and Schwarz for this because reasons, you can't stop me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-26
Updated: 2019-02-26
Packaged: 2019-11-05 19:45:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17925173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yoru_The_Rogue/pseuds/Yoru_The_Rogue
Summary: A conversation venturing into emotional territory with Schwarz is what leads Rain to defect temporarily to Neo-Germany, but it also leads to a kiss that neither expected to happen, a kiss that probably nevershouldhave happened.





	Petrichor

**Author's Note:**

> This one, I would say, takes place between scenes in episode 40 of the series. [I will tell you right now I watched the entirety of the series in the English dub, so any mannerisms and speech patterns, as well as names and references used by the characters reflect that specifically. Hence, the initial exchanges in conversation here are pulled from the series as well, to better help set the specific point of this scene.] I did have to temporarily remove the multi-chapter fic from this series in order to better keep the pieces aligned as they should (and because this is also supposed to tie in pretty closely to _Restoring You_ as I work on it in the future.)

    Steam curled into the air as he poured a cup of fresh coffee, casting a glance over to his guest.

    “You quit as a crew member?” he asked, sounding more surprised than he felt.  Truthfully, given how abrasive Domon had been the last several times they’d interacted, he was more amazed at the fact it had taken Rain this long to reach a breaking point than anything else.  He set the coffee pot aside and extended the mug to her reaching hands.

    “Yes, I did,” Rain answered, her voice low and carrying a hint of regret.  “You see, no matter what the situation, I’ve always done the best I could. But lately, things haven’t been going so well…”  She trailed off, and he watched her idly trace the sides of the coffee mug, fleetingly captivated by the shape of her delicate hands and slender fingers.

    After a moment she snapped to, her cheeks suffused with a faint blush.  “Oh no, where are my manners? I hope I’m not boring you with all of this personal stuff.”

    He didn’t trust himself, biting back the instinct to respond to that last remark.  Instead his mind jumped straight back to what Rain was deliberately avoiding in the conversation and he let out a sigh before he could stop himself.

    “He’s always like that.”

    “Huh?”  Rain seemed surprised by his response, blinking as she lowered her coffee.  She hadn’t expected the switch right to the matter of Domon, most likely; not that she could be blamed for that, if she was unused to anyone around her acknowledging the frustrations she so rarely voiced.

    “Like a child, he sees only what’s before him,” he explained, giving a shake of his masked head as he ruminated on the issue of his younger brother.  “He fails to try to see how people around him are feeling. Well,” he added as the thought occurred to him, “as a martial artist who can only communicate with others by using his fists, perhaps this is to be expected.  Still, that’s hardly an excuse if it means _your_ feelings are repeatedly being hurt in the process.  I’m sorry you’ve been silently weathering this by yourself, Rain.”  He glanced at her, only to find her staring intently at him, breathtaking blue eyes creased in a puzzled, faraway look, as though struggling to remember something on the tip of her tongue.

    _Is she putting together the pieces, who I am?_

    The thought crossed his mind in a flash of worry, and he cleared his throat in an effort to get her attention.  “Uh, Rain? Rain?”

    “Oh!” she gasped, snapping out of her thoughts again and looking slightly embarrassed to have been caught staring.  “Yes?” she prompted.

    “You know,” he replied, mustering all the confidence he could, “if it’s difficult finding a solution, why not see Domon fight from the other side?  I’m sure that’ll help you find what you’re looking for.”

    “From the other side?” she echoed.  “What do you mean, Schwarz?”

    If he had to admit it to himself, the truth was he had just bullshitted that suggestion before realizing where he was even going with it.  His hands went clammy inside his gloves and his stomach felt like it was coiling into knots, such a real, _living_ sensation he hadn’t experienced in what felt like ages.  Shifting his weight to the side, he tilted his head and relaxed his shoulders, hoping she read his behavior as nonchalant.

    “You could join me during the next match, as part of my crew,” he offered.  “Or as a casual observer in support of Neo-Germany, whichever helps you best.  A change of perspective often yields results someone never expects to see.”

    Rain gave a thoughtful hum, rubbing her chin.  “A different perspective… I hadn’t considered that.”  Minutes ticked by and she sipped at her coffee as though mulling over the options he had laid out.  Certainly most people would have reached that conclusion, but he didn’t miss the way her eyes swept over the place, taking careful stock of her surroundings.

    More thoughts he couldn’t afford to linger on for too long clamored for attention the longer he watched her.  Running into her in the abandoned subway station in Shinjuku, the first time he had seen her in a long time. Watching her work to the point of exhaustion in the Guyana Highlands, when he realized his feelings stirred up over her condition were suspiciously strong and new.  Worst of all was the moment he spotted her during his escape from Prime Minister Wong and Master Asia. He had known immediately and without doubt that she had somehow seen him and followed him into the building. And with several guns pointed at his back, he had unwittingly endangered her, and could only react without thinking.  Instinct had taken over as he leapt down and scooped her into his arms, racing to get away, fleeing for dear life. Not that he considered his own life, such as it was, to be so precious, but Rain…

    These thoughts were drowned out by the one that had tormented him for days now, the one moment that same night he had fled with her.  Over and over it had replayed in his mind, the way she had settled so quickly in his grasp and burrowed into the curve of his body, seeking shelter and safety.  The panic of escape and pursuit, the worry over what might happen was tempered by an unexpected surge of what he would afterward come to realize was joy.

    _Dangerous_ , he thought, and did his best to ignore what his feelings were telling him.  True, sorting through this all would probably be best, but he couldn’t afford to face that truth.  It would be catastrophic and only end in disaster for himself, for Rain, and for his brother.

    “Now that you mention it,” Rain spoke up, “where _is_ your crew?  I don’t think I’ve ever seen them.”

    “Ah, actually _I’m_ the crew,” he confessed, feeling abruptly self-conscious.

    “Wait, it’s just _you_?!” she blurted out, whipping around to goggle at him, mouth agape.  “You use _and_ maintain Shadow Gundam all by _yourself_?!”

    He nodded, turning away briefly to lift the lower half of his mask and sip at his own coffee.  “I won’t ask you to do any maintenance on it though, I can manage,” he assured as he lowered his mask back into place.  “From what I’ve seen, you already work your fingers to the bone on Burning Gundam.”

    “Well, if you don’t even want me putting in work on your gundam,” she said, regaining some of her usual confidence as a sly, sassy tone crept into her voice, “then what exactly would you like me to do as a member of your crew?”

    His gaze was drawn to her quirked brow, the dimple in her cheek where she was trying not to smile, and the tilt of her body as she leaned toward him.

    “I think just your company would be nice for the time being,” he answered, trying to keep his focus on the conversation.  Unfortunately, that was getting difficult; everything about her in that instant suggested she was flirting, and half-expecting him to flirt back in response.

    _No, Rain isn’t like that,_ he mentally kicked himself.   _Stop reading so much into things.  You’re starting to project onto the situation.  Just take your own advice and keep a level head._

    But if he was thinking and feeling about her in the way he suspected, that was going to be a difficult task indeed.

    “My company?” she asked in surprise, but seconds later a look of melancholy stole over her.  “Of course, you’re all by yourself. Is it lonely, not having a crew or any partners around while you’re here for the tournament?”

    He lowered himself onto the other folding chair in front of the table with a soft chuckle.  “Saw right through me, didn’t you?” he said, resting his chin on one of his hands as he smiled beneath his mask.  “Guess that’s another reason I make a point of checking in on the Shuffle Alliance. It’s nice to be able to see other people for a while, let alone have a chance for any kind of conversation.”

    “Even a conversation that’s almost entirely an exchange of fists?” she teased, the dimple in her cheek forming again as she peered at him over the top of her mug.

    “Mm, not ideal _or_ my first preference,” he hummed pensively.  “But it’s something, I suppose.”

    “So why don’t you ever stop to just talk?” she asked.  “All people are social creatures; we need and seek out human interaction for that exact reason.”

    He looked away, staring down into his coffee without really seeing it.  There was no easy answer to that question, not when Domon still struggled to reach his fullest potential, not while so many fates hung in the balance.  Certainly not while Rain was already dealing with a heap of emotional turmoil herself. And beneath all the secrets, the weight and his worry, what was he really left with to make casual conversation about?  Schwarz Bruder was nothing more than a shadow, thin as a cut of gossamer silk that threatened to tear under too much strain and inspection. He hadn’t given too much attention to building upon the false identity, and rather than be subject to the sort of scrutiny bound to shatter his deception, it was simply wiser to minimize contact with Domon, the Shuffle Alliance and those near them altogether before it became too personal.

    “I’m sorry,” Rain murmured after his silence had stretched on for longer than he’d intended.  “I didn’t mean to pry into your personal business.”

    “Not at all,” he returned warmly, looking up at her.  “You have a gift for making people think.”

    She gave him a wry smile in return, probably thinking of Domon and doubting the statement applied to her interaction with him in any capacity.  However, if that was the thought on her mind, it wasn’t the one she voiced.

    “And you have a gift for putting a person completely at ease.”

    He couldn’t stop the smile that spread over his face, despite the mask that concealed it.  “You flatter me, Rain.”

    “Flattery, _nothing_!” she declared, affecting a pompous tone before her voice softened into its usual cadence.  “I’m serious, Schwarz. You have a very soothing presence.”

    “Thank you,” he replied with another soft chuckle.  “Coming from you, I accept that as the highest of praise.”

    Silence fell over them for a time, but it was a warm, comforting sort of quiet, the kind shared by people completely at their ease in one another’s company without any words needing to be exchanged.  Time slowed down, no longer grains of sand spilling from his hands and counting the seconds towards the inevitable, but a calm, lazy sort of river that flowed between the moonlight that seeped in through the windows and dusted Rain’s hair in a shimmer of silvery-white.

    “Schwarz?” her voice was so soft he almost wasn’t sure she had spoken.

    “Hmm?”

    “Could I...could I ask you for...a favor?”

    “Of course you can,” he answered without a second’s hesitation.

    “Are you sure?” she asked, staring at him in a way that said she was uncertain or trying to test the strength of his conviction.  The intensity of her gaze made him incredibly aware of how difficult it was to breathe, to feel his heartbeat as his pulse raced, to keep a blush from rising in his face, sensations he shouldn’t be experiencing.  Yet there it was, the familiar sensation of fluttering in his chest, brought about by her, only her and her presence here with him.

    _Rain_.

    He inclined his head ever so slightly and spoke as true as his heart could let him in that span of a breath.

    “Anything for you.”

    Not the three words she most deserved to hear or that he most wanted to say, but it was the best he could give.  Anything more would be a betrayal of her trust in him, of his desire to do right by Domon, and of the feelings he was struggling to conceal.  So this was what he had left to give, and he meant every word. Anything for her.

    Rain scooted closer to where he sat but hesitated to speak, chewing her lower lip.  She glanced at him a couple of times, but never quite met his gaze. Worry crept up on him.

    “Is something wrong?” he asked gently.  “Do you need my help with anything?”

    “N-no!  Or, yes…” she replied, clearly torn and confused, though over what, he couldn’t say.  Bracing herself with a deep inhale, she murmured, “Schwarz, do you trust me?”

    “Yes, of course I—”

    He never had a chance to explain further because she reached for him as he spoke, and those maddeningly gentle fingers, warm from the heat of her coffee and smooth despite a year’s worth of hard maintenance on machinery, slid beneath the underside of his mask.  He froze, completely caught off-guard, and she tugged the fabric upward, only stopping beneath his nose. Gasping, he tried to move, to say something, _do_ something to prevent her from unmasking him, but in that same breath Rain closed her eyes and covered his gasp with a warm, lingering kiss as her fingertips brushed the exposed skin of his neck.

    He couldn’t think, not really.  He was able to register the pressure and softness of her lips on his, driven by hunger and desperation as her mouth shifted and caught the seam of his with each tiny motion, seeking something he didn’t know the name of.  Her thumbs traced over his chin, jawline, the sides of his face, and tiny whimpers of sound shivered through her lips into his. An urge to kiss her back, to lose himself for a little while in the vivid sweetness of something so new, intimate and inviting was surging through the core of him with a ferocity he’d never known.

    _Domon.  Your brother,_ his thoughts belatedly reminded him, quelling the urge like a spike of pure ice.  As though she’d heard his thoughts, Rain’s eyes flew open. With a muffled squeak, she flew backward in her chair, breaking the kiss so abruptly he was pulled forward, blinking in surprise and breathing raggedly.

    “I-I’m—I’m sorry, I-I thought if…” she stammered, and reality crashed around him, shattering the glass of that unexpected, _wonderful_ kiss.  Of course.  She must have been hoping that kissing him—perhaps kissing anyone, really—would chase away the painful thoughts of Domon.  Not that he faulted her for it; she had to be hurt deeper than he’d initially thought.

    Guilt and panic clawed their way into his stomach.  If she learned the truth of his identity, or if Domon ever heard of this, would either of them ever be able to trust him again?  True, he hadn’t kissed her back, but that was no comfort in the face of fear at being discovered.

    “I’m sorry, I never intended t-to—to—” she apologized again, and the vulnerability in her voice melted some of that fear away.

    “It’s alright,” he murmured, surprising himself with how much he meant it.  “I believe I understand, for the most part.”

    Rain’s face was completely red by now, and when her eyes dropped to his still-exposed mouth, she turned a couple of shades darker.  Startled, he pulled the mask back down into place, realizing as he did so his lips felt pleasantly bruised and swollen, quickened by some electric fire he had no name for.  Rain reflexively covered her mouth with a hand, looking worried.

    “Was it that bad?” she asked in a very small voice.

    “No!” he answered immediately, a little louder than he’d intended.  Lowering his voice to normal, he added, “No, not at all. You just caught me off-guard.”

    “Oh,” she mumbled, looking down at her hands as she folded them in her lap.

    “I meant it as a compliment,” he said, hoping she heard the smile in his voice.  “It’s rare indeed someone can catch me unaware like that.”

    She lifted her gaze slowly, uncertainty in her eyes.  Yet if she had more she wanted to say or some still-secret thought, she didn’t give voice to it.  The silence starting to descend was unnerving, so he did the only thing he could think of to break it before it became a barrier between them.

    “I am deeply sorry if I’ve made you uncomfortable, Rain.  I’ll understand if you would prefer to leave. No one should force you to stay somewhere if—”

    “No one is _forcing_ me to stay anywhere, Schwarz,” she retorted.  “Least of all you. Besides, _I’m_ the one who…” she faltered and her hand covered her mouth again for a brief moment.  “A-anyway,” she suddenly declared, straightening up and exuding a professional air, “you made a very generous offer to me, and I think you may be right about the matter of perspective.  So, if you’ll still have me as a member of your crew for this next match, I would be honored to work with you and look over the statistics and layout for Shadow Gundam.”

    His heart sank, but what could be done for it?  With a nod and a smile that didn’t reach his eyes he agreed, and led her to the necessary tables of blueprints and data.

***

    The moon was lower in the sky, much lower by the time he felt safe enough to sit and ponder on everything that had transpired that night.  He sat on the catwalk of the warehouse and glanced up at the windows, eyes adjusting automatically to what little natural light was left before he shut them in concentration.  Feedback from his link to the Dark Gundam—and to its unfortunate human “pilot”, if he could be called such—was enough to reassure him Kyoji Kasshu was still alive. He was weak, so very weak and fading, but he was still there...which meant that for now, so was this body, the shadowy mirror that had donned the pseudonym of Schwarz Bruder.

    If he concentrated hard enough, he could feel the biotechnology cells that formed his android body, could probably number them without trying.  Yet again he found himself wondering how it was he alone remained uncorrupted and in full command of himself out of all things the Dark Gundam had touched.  Perhaps some of the original Ultimate Gundam cells Kyoji and his father had built hadn’t been damaged in the crash to Earth, and Kyoji was somehow able to access them in order to form this alter ego?  Perhaps it was simply the force of his original self’s will that kept him from that tainting influence? Those were the only two possibilities that had occurred to him since gaining awareness in this body, suggesting that on some level, Kyoji didn’t know.

    It was unsettling, but there was little to be done for it.  All he could do was press forward.

    He stood after a moment, striding to the edge of the catwalk and looking down into the darkened storage warehouse.  Again, his eyes adjusted to filter the light best, and he was able to see Rain curled on the careworn sofa he’d used for weeks now.  Even from here, he could tell she was sleeping soundly, her breathing slow and deep, her posture relaxed in a way she hadn’t been awake.

    Fluttering heartbeats in his chest started to ache, and he suspected he was feeling the echoes of Kyoji’s physical heart, responding to seeing Rain through his eyes.  It was such a shock to think Domon was the sole factor that allowed him to feel like Kyoji again, only to have Rain’s increasing presence bring about the same effect.

    _I_ am _Kyoji_ , he reminded himself forcefully.   _Perhaps not in body, but in mind and spirit I still am Kyoji.  Even a shadow stays connected to the one who casts it._

    A lie on some level perhaps, but it kept Schwarz driven and focused.  He had to believe it for his own benefit, and up until recently, he had been certain Domon was the only person who helped him feel that connected and real.

    He wasn’t sure when he’d pulled his mask off, only that when he traced the lines of his mouth he could still feel that electric fire from Rain’s kiss.

    Rain.  She wasn’t a factor he had anticipated or counted on being present.  He still remembered babysitting her alongside his brother when the two were children, and even after that when Domon had left to train as a martial artist, Rain was a constant presence due to their family friendship.  Finding her in Shinjuku had been a shock and left him reeling from seeing her in such a different light. In a way she had been a part of their family for so long that he had loved her as such, but the more he continued to encounter her since, the more it became apparent those feelings had changed to the point he couldn’t ignore them.

    Shifting in her sleep below, she exhaled a sigh, and he made his way back down to the ground level, each step quiet and unhurried.

    Regardless of his feelings, he couldn’t act on them.  Guilt twisted and coiled in him again. She was important to his brother, no matter how bullheaded and blind Domon was to that fact, and vice-versa.  If he had to guess, he was sure Rain had already sussed out her feelings and concluded she was in love with Domon, especially if their recent conflict had cut her so deep.

    Which was why he couldn’t have kissed her back.  No matter what he felt, no matter how much it tore and ate at him to see her so unhappy, kissing her back would have resulted in nothing but heartache afterward.  Domon would feel betrayed by such an act once he learned of it, and Rain would have been devastated by it once she learned the truth about his identity.

    Reaching the ground floor, he strode to the sofa, his mind a complicated tangle of conflicting emotions and thoughts.  Even so, Rain’s nearness brought a sense of calm and clarity. He watched for a time as she slept on, tranquil and beautiful and all things good in the world, and not his.  Maybe if things had turned out differently… But no, she still would see him as an older brother, and he was only tormenting himself by dwelling on what couldn’t be.

    She let out another sigh in her sleep, and he knelt beside the sofa, brushing strands of her hair out of her face.  Stirring, she blinked sleepily and murmured his name, and he went utterly still, worried.

    “Kyoji… Don’t leave again,” she muttered, shutting her eyes once more and settling back down.  “Feels like we just found you.”

    Seconds crept by, then minutes, but Schwarz didn’t move until he was certain she was completely asleep.  Finally he allowed himself to relax, relieved she hadn’t woken and truly seen him. And beneath the relief, he was lighter somehow, knowing he was in her thoughts.

    Leaning forward, he hesitated for just a second before pressing his lips tenderly against her forehead.  Rain didn’t stir but made such a content sound at the contact that he pulled away and saw her mouth had turned upward into a smile as she slept.  An aching heartbeat drummed through him as he brushed his fingers across her cheek, knowing she would sleep and never recall this moment or how close he was to baring his soul to her.  Steeling himself with a deep breath, he closed his eyes and pressed another kiss, even more fragile and tender than before, to her temple. After a breath, he opened his eyes and broke the contact, looking at Rain as she slept on, a sad smile on his face as he whispered his promise again in the dark.

    “Anything for you.”


End file.
